Cameron Crowe makes films that either drown you in your own tears, or drown you in your own vomit, there is no doubting this, and you probably think that I belong to the vomit group, but you would be wrong. If you look at his body of work you will notice they are ussually about the same thing, innocence and naivity vs the mean big bad world and there is something very charming about this, and even though I can't watch Jerry Maguire without making jokes to whoever is present about Tom Cruises face, Im ussually doing so to deflect from the fact that Im swept up in the lovelyness of the moral, ethical dreamer winning through.
Almost famous however is different, yes its again about a young innocent facing up to the realitys of life but this time the film is about Cameron Crowe the innocent. As all the EPK's wouldnt let us forget Cameron Crowe worked for Rolling Stone when he was fifteen, so we have to assume that this film is very personal to Cameron and means a great deal to him. So lets trash it.
But first, I have to admit that again I was swept up again. The dialogue, whilst straying into cliched bullshit in some places, and over sentimental tosh in others, the dialogue does sparkle and proves that when Cameron isn't trying to make us feel sick he can really write (he got an oscar. Yes that does mean something....). The acting is top notch all round, Frances McDormand is the unsung hero, whilst Phillip Seymour Hoffman...you see where Im going. These two factors come together so well that if you are not carried along then you are obviously a politician or a rapist.
Of course, there are some things that are horribly, horribly wrong. For a start, what lacks credibility is how clean everything is. For a band on the road, there is a distinct lack of bottles of piss, and this hurts the film because it again leads to the horrible theory that Cameron Crowe made this film to brag about how cool he was when he was fifteen. Considering all the press shite spin, and the truth about Cameron Crowes past then you have to assume Patrick Fugit is based on himself, and you have to assume that narrativly, the film could have left out the scene where 3 beautiful women have sex with him. This lead to a very uncomfortable viewing for me, quite similar to sitting in the pub with the guy who never got over fucking Pink. All of these factors add up to cheapening the experience as any reality is smashed and makes the film almost as fantasical as Lord of the rings.
But what the fuck is wrong with Lord of the rings?
Yes Cameron, I know to you worked for Rolling stone when you where fifteen....
Tuesday, 11 March 2008
Wednesday, 5 March 2008
Fightstar, Madame Jo Jo's, 03/03/08
Before I begin reviewing any bands, I have to confess an unproffesional bias. Basically, emo makes me want to shit. Watching over the top emotional melodys being performed by a guitarist with "Just had a wank" hair whilst a singer, also with "just had a wank" hair cry's his way through the worst kind of soap operah lyrics, is not my idea of having fun, I would rather fall down some stairs and land in an arse . Yet for some reason the youth love it, and have also taken up the practice of not brushing their hair after an intense evening with themselves to show their appreciation.
About a million of these children have squeezed inside the tiny Madam Jo Jos for the launch of fightstars new single "floods". It was nice to see them all take some time out from the busy schedule of crying, wanking their hair to perfection and more crying (thats exactly what all emo kids do, in my head) Aside from insulting everyone, I have no reason to complain as my girlfriend bought me the ticket, so I guess I shouldn't complain. But this is a web blog review.
"Dissolved in" did absolutely nothing to change my obvious prejudice. Every riff, every melody, every "oh oh oooooh oh" had been done a hundreds of times before, but not nessaserily better because all of the techniques they chose where tired cliches to begin with. I don't know how anyone can think of getting away with this, either the band are so stupid for playing the same old emo shite, or the band are so stupid for stealing the same old emo shite and calling it their own . Granted, the band apparently won some kerrang competition to open for the "mighty" fightstar, so I imagine they have not been together long, and have fallen arse first into this gig, so maybe they do have untapped potential that the masses can see. Then again, Lostprophets are headlining donnington this year. Sigh.
"We are the ocean" seem to be doing pretty well for themselves, having been featured in a few music periodicals and have gotten support slots with bands Ive actually heard of, and this is reflected in the audience as at least twelve people seemed very excited at their presence. And it became obvious why, they had a good thing going with the duel vocals (one barking out nicely, the other not so melodic it would make the dead kill themselves) and some nice riffs that occasionally took you by surprise. Yes, again it was nothing new, but at least they had the decency to look like they knew what they were doing. But then the wheels started to come off the wagon, as it became very apparent that these boys did not have any more tricks up anywhere on their bodies, and as a result their set began to drag. Then the front man (who looking back, has almost no reason to be in the band, as the singer who plays guitars was better) decided everyone should clap their hands. Now if theres one thing that annoys me to high piss heaven its when bands decided to turn their gig into fucking sesame street. Audience participation should only be attempted by bands so popular that all they need to do to get a crowd clapping in time, is fart. Needless to say most people at the back did not clap, and this activly annoyed him. "Just pretend we are fightstar" he begged, "Your all too cool to clap" it was the first time he said anything right. By the end of the gig the whole thing had turned into an absolute farce, the front man had decided that even though the front of the audience was made up entirely of 13 year old girls and Macualy Kulkin look alikes, the one thing these people need most is a mosh pit. The gig ended with the frontman punching women. Thats literally the worst possible way to end a gig, that and maybe doing a duet of "I will always love you" with your dick.
Bands that begin with "The" are more common than people who have at some point eaten a potato, and it may seem superficial but when I see a band that chooses to put The at the beginning, followed by any other word in the english language, I cant help but think that they have no imagination. "The computers", for the one and only time this evening prove me wrong in spectacular style. They jump on stage, and reminded me that I was at a gig. Fantastic stage presence mixed with a strange blues hardcore sound that surprised and delighted at every turn, seemingly every song filled with a moment that either made me smile, or actually laugh outloud in delight. After the drudge of dissolving ocean whatever, The computers where an absolute joy, and after quickly checking their Myspace when I got home their quality is not just due to them being a bit better than the others, they are a band with genuine talent, and how they are the only band on the bill who had not won a popular vote, or signed is a mystery, and knowing this we will probably never ever see them again. For fucks sakes.
Fightstar arrived alot later, girls screamed, some of them, probably fainted, everyone seemed very excited. But once the first song, admittedly a more lively metal song that got the room moving, was done I found it hard to pay attention. Yes they where by no means bad, but the band just seemed a little boring, and apart from a brief appearence of the Jager fairy who doled out spirits to a sea of children there was very little going for it. The bassist appeared to look just as bored playing the melodic bits, and only really getting any enjoyment when he could hit his head against things. For a band listed as experimental metal on their myspace there was almost no experiementing going on. After a while, I went to the bar, and stared at one of the free badges, and had an awkward moment where the We are the ocean frontman seemed to want me to tell him he did a great job when all I could do was stare at my phone pretending to write a text. Fightstar reminded me of a band performing on the OC, generic rock pop stuff to serve as accompaniment to pretty people getting a bit upset. Yet weirdly, a mosh pit had formed, which astounded me as the band appeared about as mosh worthy as a sponge with "cuddle" written on it.
REVIEW BY THE NUMBERS
Number of uses of the word "crying" - Lost count
Number of times Adrians prejudice for people younger and prettier than him gets in the way of his attempt at a proffesional review - 7
Band who deserved to get laid afterwoulds - The computers
Band that need to get laid, but probably won't - We are the ocean
Band that probably did get laid, even though one of their members used to be in busted - Fightstar
Number of times mentioning Charlies unfortunate pop past - ONCE AND ONLY ONCE.
Amount of children found in the toilets covered in vomit - one.
Amount of children who looked like they where about to cry for no apparent reason - 76 and 1 "We are the ocean" merch guy.
Amount of toilet attendants who looked like they where about to cry, for very good reason - 1
About a million of these children have squeezed inside the tiny Madam Jo Jos for the launch of fightstars new single "floods". It was nice to see them all take some time out from the busy schedule of crying, wanking their hair to perfection and more crying (thats exactly what all emo kids do, in my head) Aside from insulting everyone, I have no reason to complain as my girlfriend bought me the ticket, so I guess I shouldn't complain. But this is a web blog review.
"Dissolved in" did absolutely nothing to change my obvious prejudice. Every riff, every melody, every "oh oh oooooh oh" had been done a hundreds of times before, but not nessaserily better because all of the techniques they chose where tired cliches to begin with. I don't know how anyone can think of getting away with this, either the band are so stupid for playing the same old emo shite, or the band are so stupid for stealing the same old emo shite and calling it their own . Granted, the band apparently won some kerrang competition to open for the "mighty" fightstar, so I imagine they have not been together long, and have fallen arse first into this gig, so maybe they do have untapped potential that the masses can see. Then again, Lostprophets are headlining donnington this year. Sigh.
"We are the ocean" seem to be doing pretty well for themselves, having been featured in a few music periodicals and have gotten support slots with bands Ive actually heard of, and this is reflected in the audience as at least twelve people seemed very excited at their presence. And it became obvious why, they had a good thing going with the duel vocals (one barking out nicely, the other not so melodic it would make the dead kill themselves) and some nice riffs that occasionally took you by surprise. Yes, again it was nothing new, but at least they had the decency to look like they knew what they were doing. But then the wheels started to come off the wagon, as it became very apparent that these boys did not have any more tricks up anywhere on their bodies, and as a result their set began to drag. Then the front man (who looking back, has almost no reason to be in the band, as the singer who plays guitars was better) decided everyone should clap their hands. Now if theres one thing that annoys me to high piss heaven its when bands decided to turn their gig into fucking sesame street. Audience participation should only be attempted by bands so popular that all they need to do to get a crowd clapping in time, is fart. Needless to say most people at the back did not clap, and this activly annoyed him. "Just pretend we are fightstar" he begged, "Your all too cool to clap" it was the first time he said anything right. By the end of the gig the whole thing had turned into an absolute farce, the front man had decided that even though the front of the audience was made up entirely of 13 year old girls and Macualy Kulkin look alikes, the one thing these people need most is a mosh pit. The gig ended with the frontman punching women. Thats literally the worst possible way to end a gig, that and maybe doing a duet of "I will always love you" with your dick.
Bands that begin with "The" are more common than people who have at some point eaten a potato, and it may seem superficial but when I see a band that chooses to put The at the beginning, followed by any other word in the english language, I cant help but think that they have no imagination. "The computers", for the one and only time this evening prove me wrong in spectacular style. They jump on stage, and reminded me that I was at a gig. Fantastic stage presence mixed with a strange blues hardcore sound that surprised and delighted at every turn, seemingly every song filled with a moment that either made me smile, or actually laugh outloud in delight. After the drudge of dissolving ocean whatever, The computers where an absolute joy, and after quickly checking their Myspace when I got home their quality is not just due to them being a bit better than the others, they are a band with genuine talent, and how they are the only band on the bill who had not won a popular vote, or signed is a mystery, and knowing this we will probably never ever see them again. For fucks sakes.
Fightstar arrived alot later, girls screamed, some of them, probably fainted, everyone seemed very excited. But once the first song, admittedly a more lively metal song that got the room moving, was done I found it hard to pay attention. Yes they where by no means bad, but the band just seemed a little boring, and apart from a brief appearence of the Jager fairy who doled out spirits to a sea of children there was very little going for it. The bassist appeared to look just as bored playing the melodic bits, and only really getting any enjoyment when he could hit his head against things. For a band listed as experimental metal on their myspace there was almost no experiementing going on. After a while, I went to the bar, and stared at one of the free badges, and had an awkward moment where the We are the ocean frontman seemed to want me to tell him he did a great job when all I could do was stare at my phone pretending to write a text. Fightstar reminded me of a band performing on the OC, generic rock pop stuff to serve as accompaniment to pretty people getting a bit upset. Yet weirdly, a mosh pit had formed, which astounded me as the band appeared about as mosh worthy as a sponge with "cuddle" written on it.
REVIEW BY THE NUMBERS
Number of uses of the word "crying" - Lost count
Number of times Adrians prejudice for people younger and prettier than him gets in the way of his attempt at a proffesional review - 7
Band who deserved to get laid afterwoulds - The computers
Band that need to get laid, but probably won't - We are the ocean
Band that probably did get laid, even though one of their members used to be in busted - Fightstar
Number of times mentioning Charlies unfortunate pop past - ONCE AND ONLY ONCE.
Amount of children found in the toilets covered in vomit - one.
Amount of children who looked like they where about to cry for no apparent reason - 76 and 1 "We are the ocean" merch guy.
Amount of toilet attendants who looked like they where about to cry, for very good reason - 1
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